READING: Different, Funny & Appropriate - Ogden Nash at Your Literary Wedding Ceremony

Tin Wedding Whistle
by Ogden Nash

Though you know it anyhow
Listen to me, darling, now,
Proving what I need not prove
How I know I love you, love.
Near and far, near and far,
I am happy where you are;
Likewise I have never larnt
How to be it where you aren?t.
Far and wide, far and wide,
I can walk with you beside;
Furthermore, I tell you what,
I sit and sulk where you are not.
Visitors remark my frown
Where you?re upstairs and I am down,
Yes, and I?m afraid I pout
When I?m indoors and you are out;
But how contentedly I view
Any room containing you.
In fact I care not where you be,
Just as long as it?s with me.
In all your absences I glimpse
Fire and flood and trolls and imps.
Is your train a minute slothful?
I goad the stationmaster wrothful.
When with friends to bridge you drive
I never know if you?re alive,
And when you linger late in shops
I long to telephone the cops.
Yet how worth the waiting for,
To see you coming through the door.
Somehow, I can be complacent
Never but with you adjacent.
Near and far, near and far,
I am happy where you are;
Likewise I have never larnt
How to be it where you aren?t.
Then grudge me not my fond endeavor,
To hold you in my sight forever;
Let none, not even you, disparage
Such a valid reason for a marriage.


Many thanks to a FANTASTIC couple, Jenn and Rhys, for turning me on to such a truly lovely reading.

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